Wish trying was all it takes

I went to the gym today in between classes (11:00) just for a short 30 min bike ride. After wards I was sitting on the blue mat, stretching, thinking to myself, when I looked out the front door to see this girl sitting in front of the large mirror, in a very cute workout outfit, getting ready for the day. Putting on make-up, flat ironing her hair, make it look perfect and adding the final touch of hair spray, etc... As I sat there watching I assumed that she had recently finished her work out and was now getting ready for classes. I continued to watch her almost in awe as she perfected herself. I then took a look at myself in the mirror, looking like I just arose from the dead. Thinking about how I ran out the door for work at 4 in the morning, slept with wet hair last night, threw some clothes one, and now sweated up a storm, and with no intention of fixing much when i was done. As I continued to think, I came up with my wish list in my head.

I wish I was able to look really cute when I work out, be gung-ho about it work-out for hours at a time then end the therapy session by taking a shower and having my bathroom essentially with me in my locker so I would walk out like I was walking down the red carpet.

I wish that I enjoyed running, that way I would have a some goal or purpose I could achieve with all the time I would spend in the gym. (ie marathon, 5K)

I wish that I was a more organized put together person who has everything in a cute and proper bin, and always had laundry done, dinners made, everything fixed and cleaned.

I wish my desire to become more spiritual and faithful in the gospel actually surfaced into action instead of a thought that crosses my mind

I wish that when you tried to do such things, that they just happened, because you tried, and that was all that mattered.

Then reality sank in...

I don't have time to work-out hours in a day. I have two jobs and go to school full time, When I do have time it is short, and certainly not the desired therapy session I wish for, but a quick run in and out to say you did it.

I hate running, with a passion. I know Provo is the city for running, but I cant stand it. I get bored very quickly, and out of all physical activities, nothing flares up my exercised induced asthma more than running.

I am far from organized, nothing is put away in cute bin or any bin for that matter. My house is always a mess, and the time I do get to clean it, that last thing I want to do with my limited free time is clean!!

I am failing with my spiritual life, not because I don't care but because for years I have struggled to feel like I need to fit in one more thing in my life. I have a great desire, but fail miserably to put my thoughts into action

Ok so this was not meant to be a rant or a poor Stephanie time, and yes everything is ok I am not upset, or blue, so do worry mom, I was just thinking today about how I wish things were and how they really are. I also came to the conclusion, that although I could always improve in all areas of my life, my wishes are not just wishes because of a lack of desire or trying. I have tried, I do try, and will continue to try. I just hope sometimes that trying was all it takes.

I heard the sound of Love

Last night, I went to my third doctors appointment, and Jamie and I heard our baby's heartbeat, if you had read my previous post, you would know that last time we didnt get to hear the heart beat, because the doctor could not find it, so we just had an ultra sound! I will admit that I almost cried, I didn't think I would at all (I still don't think it has hit me yet that we are having a baby)but I did get a little teary eye, because it is like you hear the sound of love. They took my blood pressure, I usually have low to right on blood pressure, but I don't know if it was because I was stressed from school, or because I thought I was going to be late for the appointment, but my blood pressure was really high, 138/80 to be exact. They then made me pee in a cup(Luckily I had to go really bad) and everything came back normal, so all in all it was a simple and quick doctors appointment.

Mark your calendars, because February 18 is the big day we find out if we are having a little girl or boy! Jamie and I are very excited and I think these next couple of weeks are going to take forever! You will have to wait and see... Any guesses?

The Big Unveiling

I waited 10 weeks before I told my parents that I was pregnant, part of the reason was that I wanted to have my first appointment before telling, and I wanted to do something in person, not over the phone. It just so happens that the beginning of December, my mom booked Jamie and I plane tickets to surprise my dad, and to have a mini early Christmas with the family, since we were not going to be there that year. I thought this would be the perfect time. I will add that it was very difficult to not say anything when we would talk on the phone, but I was glad we waited. Why? You may ask, because I got some priceless pictures. Let me explain... Almost immediately after I found out I was pregnant I went on-line to research fun ways to announce you were pregnant. Since they were already grandparents I didn't think the whole T-shirt with the words grandparents a crossed it would be much fun. I even thought of given my niece and nephew T-shirts that say worlds best cousin (since they are yet to have cousins), but I really didn't have the time or money to do that. Then I came across this idea where you take a group picture, and the person behind the picture(Instead of the usual "Say Cheese") Would say something along the lines of "Say... Stephanie's Pregnant.... Then snap the camera several times to get their reaction! I thought this would be priceless and then you would have documentation.

Well, Thursday night we arrived in California, by the time we got home and surprised my dad and family that we were there, I was tired, so we went to bed. The next afternoon my dad called and wanted to know if my mom, Jamie and I wanted to go to lunch. This was the perfect opportunity. Meanwhile my mom and I were shopping for a big family dinner and I was just dying inside wanting to say something. Several hours later we all arrived and ate lunch at a local joint. Any one who knows my mom, knows she is an avid picture taker, so I thought for sure she would bring up an opportunity to take a picture, but alas as we were getting ready to leave and dad head back to work, she said nothing. So I quickly chimed in and suggested that we take a picture. And the plan followed as I previously stated. Here is the candid shots we got!



This is after Jamie said the line "Say Stephanie's Pregnant" As you can tell my dad has the most confused look ever, and my mom is just trying to remain smiling for the picture, totally thinking it was just a joke.



After the first picture, Jamie then repeated "No Seriously Stephanie's Pregnant, and it resulted in the above picture. My dad is laughing and my mom, well, she is obviously a bit shocked! I think she was even more shocked because I was in the process of telling her that I was already 10 weeks along!



We were all laughing and my parents were still in shock, when a co-worker of my dads came walking by and offered to take a group picture, with all of us. I am sure he was a bit confused why we were standing on a busy street corner laughing!

All in all it was well worth the wait!

Our little ones first picture! It was neat to see the baby a little sooner than most. We went to the doctors to hear te hearbeat. We were the last appointment of the day and the doctor was running 30 min. late. Any way he tried to find the heartbeat for about 2 min. and couldn't, he did warn us it can be hard to find, but I think he was ready to get home so he decided to just take a look at the ultradound instead of keep looking for it! I couldnt really see verry well, it really is a odd angle they put us mothers at, but Jamie said he could really tell! All I asked was if it was alive ( I was really worried) The doctor said, "Oh yes, dead babied dont move lik that!" I could slightly see something moving almost like it was bending in half at each beat! In the picture, all I can tell you is the claw looking thing in the top right hand corner is a hand, the rest is a blur. I have had several dreams that we were having a boy, that would make Jamie very happy, but that doesnt mean anything of course ( the dreams that is). So far we have narrowed down our baby names, but are not cloase to picking any. I thought it would be fun to list them and have a poll to see how everyone else feels. So leave a comment about which ones you like for both the girl and boy names

GIRL: We really only have two we can agree on. 1. Kianna 2. Brielle

Boy: 1. Jullian 2. Andrea 3. Malik 4. Cedric 5. Damian

Everything is going well, the first week of school was ok, I some how got a cold that I have been fighting this week, but besides taht feeling good! Hope everyone is doing well!

Love Stephanie

Oh Baby, Oh Baby!

Were Having a BABY!! That's right Jamie and I are have a little baby, due July 5th. We just wanted to make an official announcement since we made it past the first trimester, and we got to see our little one for the first time the other day. We are REALLY excited. We had a lot of fun keeping it a secret and then sharing with our family. We didn't tell any family until we were about 10 weeks along, so they were in for a big surprise. I have great pictures of the events and unfortunately cant find my camera at the moment, so those will have to be saved for a later post along with a picture of our baby from the ultra sound.

I am feeling great, my biggest complaint is heart burn, and that fact that I am tired a lot, but besides that I cant complain. Two different friends of ours, from the same family, are also pregnant, and we all have very close due dates, so we are excited for the fun of all being big pregnant ladies together!

Christmas Eve was great Jamie and I had a mini version of the traditional German Dinner, with, Schnitzel, Butter Noodles, and Potato Salad. Then we headed up to Alpine to spend time with the our adopted family here in Utah. When there we had a Christmas gift exchange and announced to that family that their daughter, daughter In-law, and adopted daughter are all pregnant! We announced it by giving the father (who has been bugging people to have kids for years) a card with two pregnancy test, and one ultra sound. The test was the daughter-in laws and mine, and the ultra sound was the actual daughter of the family. It was really funny because the father had no clue what any of these pictures were. They didn't have them when he had his children, so he was so confused and those who knew were just laughing like crazy!

Christmas day was relaxing. We slept up in alpine and just relaxed in our PJ's and had a great brunch later in the day.

All in all it has been a great Holiday season. Jamie and I Wish everyone a happy new year and many blessing and joy in this new decade!